EPOV
It takes me less than two hours to get home, throw some shit in a bag and haul ass to the airport. I was able to get a seat on the next flight to Seattle that left at five, with thankfully only one layover. I’m going. I don’t care that Alice spent the last twenty minutes of our phone call begging me not to go. I’m going. I have to talk to her. She needs to know that I understand now. I get it. I hurt her, and couldn’t see past the end of my face to realize how deep her pain went. I was too stubborn. I won’t be anymore.
I didn’t even hesitate to grab the entire stack of files for the Hunter case on my way out the door. I threw my notes, the reports, everything into a folder and dropped it on Mike’s desk on the way to the airport. To say the look on his face was one of shock would be an understatement. “Take over,” I had told him firmly. “I have to leave, and I don’t know when I’ll be back. Make sure that son of a bitch gets what he deserves.” After he picked his chin up off the floor, he nodded at me and I was back on the road to the airport.
As soon as I step off the plane in Atlanta, I pull out my cell phone and call Charlie’s house. Had I been thinking more clearly a few hours ago, I would have called before I left, but I wasn’t. I was desperate.
He picks up by the third ring.
“Charlie. It’s Edward,” I utter breathlessly.
“Yep,” he responds quietly. He doesn’t seem angry with me. That’s a good sign.
“Please tell me Bella’s there,” I desperately demand.
“She’s been here a few hours,” he says with almost no emotion.
Thank God!
“How is she?” I ask as I find a seat in the terminal.
“Well, she’s pretty torn up.”
“I’m on my way. I need to see her.”
“That’s probably not such a good idea,” he responds dryly.
“I know I hurt her, but I need her to understand that I’m sorry, and I want to fix this.” I lean forward on my elbows and pinch the bridge of my nose. “I’m already half way there. I’m laid over right now.”
“Where?” he questions.
“Atlanta.”
“Hmm,” he responds, and I feel like he’s going to make seeing her difficult.
At least I know where she is now.
“I should tell her you’re coming.”
“Charlie? Please don’t let her leave,” I beg.
“How long until you get to Seattle?”
“I should be on the road by midnight. I know this is asking a lot of you, but maybe you could just not tell her I’m coming? I’m scared she’ll run again.”
“Edward now’s not really the best time for you to just show up unannounced. Maybe give her some time to settle down and I can talk to her about calling you.”
I let out a heavy sigh. “I just–“
“Damn,” he interrupts. “Uh, look, I’m gonna have to let you go.”
I can only guess that she’s figured out it’s me on the phone.
“Please tell her I love her.”
“Yeah, ok.”
“Tell her I’ll fight for her. Can you tell her that? Please, Charlie?” I choke out.
“Yeah, I’ll tell her.”
The phone goes silent. I fall back against the chair and let out an exasperated sigh. How am I going to make her believe in me? I know her. If she felt that things were bad enough to leave, then she’ll never believe a word I say when I tell her I’ll change. That I have already changed. It’s going to take every ounce of fight I have in me, but I’ll fight for her. I’ll fight for us.
xxx
Due to the weather in Seattle, my flight is an hour late in landing. If I wasn’t already on edge, that just made it worse. I’m finally in my rental car and on the road to Forks by one AM. My body is still on East coast time, and I can feel the exhaustion setting in. What’s left of my adrenaline is all that’s keeping me going.
Since it’s ten AM in Paris, I stick my Bluetooth in my ear and call Alice.
“Please tell me you didn’t get on that plane, Edward?”
“I’m driving to Forks right now.”
She sighs. “You’re so stubborn.”
I don’t respond immediately. At the moment I don’t feel stubborn. I feel desperate.
“You think she’ll talk to me?”
She sighs again. “I really don’t know what’s going to happen. I’d like to think she will, but I also know that she wanted space. For crying out loud, she drove to Forks for it! I’m not saying that I agree with her decision to leave, but I think in her mind, she thought it was the right one.”
“I know.” I sigh and press my head back into the headrest. “What have I done?”
“We all make mistakes, but your biggest one is that you lost sight of what’s really important in your life.”
“I realize that now.”
“Can I ask you something?” she quietly asks.
“Mmhmm.”
“What’s your plan? I mean, surely you’re not expecting her to just fall into your arms and all is forgiven, right?”
I huff. “No, I don’t expect that to happen.” I pause before continuing, “I can’t say that I really even have a plan. My whole thought process has just been to find her. I don’t know what I’ll say honestly.”
“Well, more importantly, you need to hear her out. You need to let her get all the hurt and anger out. You can’t be an ass about it either.”
“I know.”
“No, I mean it. I know how you are, Edward. You get defensive and you can’t do that this time. I know you’re hurting, but you need to let her lay everything out there and just take it. She’s hurting and she’s confused and she’s scared.”
“I get the hurt and confused part. But, what is she scared of Alice? I love her. I realize now that my priorities have been fucked up, but I won’t let that happen again. She’s too important to me.”
“She’s–” she stops and I hear her let out a deep breath. “Look, if you’ve finally come to realize that, then you need to try and make certain Bella understands. It’s not going to be easy, Edward. From what she has told me, you’ve made all these promises before. Why should she believe you now?”
“I’ll make her.”
“And how do you plan to do that?”
“Fuck! I don’t know, okay? I just know what’s in my head, and in my heart,” I shout as I slam my palm against the steering wheel.
“I’m not trying to upset you. I just want you to have some sort of grasp on what you’re going to do. I told you not to go, but you didn’t listen. So now I am trying to help you figure out what you’re going to do next,” she says calmly.
Very unlike Alice.
“I know, I’m sorry. I’m just frustrated. I’m pissed off at myself for not taking her seriously. I just didn’t believe that she would ever really walk out.” My grip on the steering wheel tightens right along with the pain in my chest.
God, I believe her now!
“When I look back on it now, I see it. I see all the times she cried and begged me to slow down or make a change. I see all the times she tried to love me, and I turned her away. Fuck! I’m an idiot.”
“You’re not an idiot. Well, yeah, maybe,” she teases.
“Thanks a lot,” my tone expressionless.
“That’s what little sisters are for,” she singsongs. “Just be patient and listen. I think that’s what she really needs right now, for you to really hear her.”
Obviously I haven’t done much of that.
xxx
It’s closing in on five AM when I pass the “The City of Forks Welcomes You” sign on the south side of town. Driving in from the south it’s hard to even recognize that you’re in Forks until you pass that sign. Large aluminum buildings flank the highway to the left, which are the hangars for Forks airport. If you can even call it that it’s so small. One strip of runway that’s maybe a mile long.
As I pass further into town, memories of our time spent here flood my mind. She spent her last years of high school here, while my parents moved to this Podunk town after Alice and I were already in college. I never understood the draw that they had to this place, however on a few trips that Bella and I have made here, she showed me all the little things about this place that she loved. On a summer trip just a few years ago, she brought me to the Bogachiel River.
***
“Bella, is all of this really necessary?” I asked, as she piled the third blanket into my arms.
“Yes. No complaints out of you mister. Go put those in the trunk while I finish getting lunch ready,” she ordered and then spun on her heels and practically bounced into the kitchen.
We had only been in Forks for three days, and it was beginning to wear on me. We were going back and forth, and in and out of all the little places she wanted to show me of her “home.” It was almost daunting. For a small town, one would think there wasn’t much to do, but it seemed as though Bella figured out real quick how to entertain herself here. Today we were headed out to what she called her favorite spot on the river. I was mainly hoping that meant some “chill time”.
I loaded the blankets into the trunk, which already held towels, a bag that contained sunscreen, insect repellant, a whistle, bottled water, toilet paper and baby powder along with an extra change of clothes and shoes for the both of us. I couldn’t comprehend what the heck some of this was for, but she packed it, so it must be necessary. As I was arranging said items to fit, Bella shimmied up beside me with a large picnic basket and a shit-eating grin.
“What is that look for?” I questioned, raising an eyebrow at her.
“Nothing. I just really think you’re going to love this,” she said with a smile. Her face was radiating excitement and I couldn’t help but absorb it from her.
“Well, I love you. So, anything we do together I’ll love.” I kissed her cheek, and loaded the basket. “Should we pack the kitchen sink too?” I mocked her while scratching the top of my head.
“Har har,” she deadpanned. “Let’s go!”
We headed out of Forks and onto La Push Road. She was practically bouncing with excitement and I couldn’t help the feeling of anticipation right along with her. It was technically going to be the first time since we got here that we’d be spending it alone; and damned if I haven’t missed her. I reached across the center of the car and threaded her fingers through mine. She glanced up at me with a small smile and squeezed my hand softly, then turned and focused back on where we were headed.
“There it is,” she said, pointing to….nothing. There was nothing but trees. I slowed the car slightly, while trying to decipher what she was pointing at.
“Umm, there’s what?” I questioned. Clearly I was missing something.
“Right there. See that red tape on that log on the left? Right there,” she said again gesturing still at nothing. I was blindly searching for the allusive “red tape on a log” when she screeched, “Stop!”
Fuck! I gasped, slammed my foot on the break and looked at her, watching the blush rise in her face as she bit her lip.
“Sorry. You almost passed it,” she said sheepishly, her cheeks darkening.
I turned my head, and sure as shit, there was the log. I chuckled and shook my head at her. “Now what?” I asked her, grinning at her sudden adorable shyness.
“Turn next to it, and then follow the trail to the dead end where we park the car.”
I did as I was told, obviously flying blind at this point, and parked the car between two trees at the end of the trail.
“Okay, now we walk,” she said, her excitement back, as she hopped out of the car and went around to the trunk.
We gathered all the piles of crap she felt were necessary to bring. Of course, I was stuck with the blankets and towels, while she hung the bag over her shoulder and looped her arm through the handles of the basket.
Fun, Edward. This is supposed to be fun.
It wasn’t more than fifty yards before we reached a clearing. The sun was shining bright today, which I was told is a rare occurrence, and sparkled off the surface of the river. It wasn’t a fast flowing river, but it wasn’t a trickle either. It was calm and peaceful.
Ok, so maybe this isn’t so bad after all.
Bella dropped her items and graciously removed a blanket from my arms, spreading it out on the sandy bank. I dropped the towels and other blankets of to the side and walked closer to the edge of the water. The spot that she brought us to was an obvious bend in the river. I watched as the water flowed toward us on the left and then away from us on the right. It was maybe only thirty feet across to the other side from this spot. The trees were tall and green against the bright blue sky. The only sound to be heard was the flow of the water.
I felt her presence before I heard her speak.
“You’re standing on river sediment. When the water turns the corner here, sand and rocks don’t and have built up this little beach. Dad loves to fish for steelhead in this river,” she said softly as she wrapped her arms around my waist from behind me.
“It’s gorgeous,” was all I could manage in a half-whisper. Everything about this spot was breath taking, including her.
I turned in her embrace, gripping her face in my hands. I gently placed my lips to hers and then pulled back. “Thank you for bringing me here. It really is beautiful.”
She stood up on her toes and pressed her lips to mine again, pulling me closer from the waist. I turned my head to deepen the kiss, and felt her little tongue swipe across my bottom lip. Granting her entrance to my mouth elicited a small moan from her. That sound alone was my undoing.
I swiftly reached down and pulled her thighs up, wrapping her legs around my waist, my hands palming her tight little ass. She threaded her fingers into my hair, lightly scratching my scalp with her nails that sent shivers straight down my back. I pulled back, breaking the kiss and she planted her lips on my neck, nipping and sucking along my jugular.
“Shit Bella. What are you trying to do to me?” It was rhetorical. I wasn’t expecting an answer, but I was rewarded with a small giggle. I walked us back to the blanket and knelt down, gently laying her before me. Her hair fanned out around her head and her eyes were hooded with lust.
“Take me here, Edward,” she said softly. Her words were full of desire and shot through me like fire.
I trailed my hands softly up her silky, pale legs, not taking my eyes off hers. I flicked the button on her barely-there denim shorts and swiftly pulled the zipper down. As she shimmied them off, I ran one under her top across her stomach, leaning over her on one arm. Reveling in the feel of her soft skin I feathered my hand across her ribs. I could feel her breathing escalate as I slid a finger under the wire of her bra.
“Jesus, Edward…stop teasing me,” she groaned and squirmed. Realizing she was sans shorts and panties, I pulled my hand up and squeezed her breast gently, crashing my lips to hers. I felt her fumble with my shorts for a moment, and then her tiny hand wrap around my raging hard on as our tongues fought for dominance.
I had to force myself not to rock my hips into her hand as she pumped down and then back up, swirling her thumb across the tip. I felt her feet at my hips, and then she pushed my shorts and boxers off, springing me free.
I dropped to my elbow and looked deep into her eyes as she ran her free hand across my face to the back of my neck. Aligning myself at her slick center, I pressed only the tip inside, sliding a hand down between us and rolling my fingers across her swollen clit. She squirmed under me, her eyes locked with mine, seeking more. I bent down and licked a trail from her shoulder to her ear. As I sucked gently on her lobe, she shifted again, almost begging for me to move.
“Edward…I…need you….please…” she moaned and arched her back. I loved watching her come undone like this. Knowing it was me that was doing it. Only me.
“I love you, Bella,” I cried out against her shoulder, as I hitched her leg over my hip and pressed fully into her.
***
Fuck! Even back then I was being an asshole!
Thunder and lightning dance across the heavens above, as the storm moves further and further away. I realize I am finally parked in front of Charlie’s house, and dawn is just beginning to break over the tops of the trees.
It’s now or never.
I bolt from the car, my heart pounding and my breath almost in gasps. The air is thick and heavy from the recent rain, making the simple task more difficult. As I make it up the front steps, I freeze just as I am about to raise my fist to the door. A sudden feeling a dread washes over me, creeping around my body like a tide encroaching on the sand. The unforeseen feeling sends chills across my skin and the air is sucked out of my lungs. I rest back against the side of the porch, clenching my fists and squeezing my eyes shut as I try to calm myself. I force slow, steady breaths to fight off the blackness that is threatening to take over.
A sudden blood-curdling scream comes from somewhere inside the house. The gut wrenching sound causes every hair on the back of my neck to rise and literally brings me to my knees.
Bella!
With every ounce of will I have left, I leap to my feet and ruthlessly pound on the door.
“Bella!”
