After I ensure that Bella–and the baby–are well fed, I lead her into the living room and set her down on the overstuffed pillows in front of the fire. She winces slightly as she reaches the floor, causing a wave of panic to ripple through me.
“Bella, what’s wrong?” I squat down beside her and pull her hand to my chest. She covers her abdomen with her other hand, and the panic intensifies.
“It’s nothing. I’m fine, don’t worry,” she soothes.
Bullshit.
“Bella,” I scold. “It’s not nothing. Are you in pain?”
“No, really. I’m fine. I had a little cramping earlier after…you and Jake…well.”
Holy shit! I’m an idiot!
“Do you–are you–shit, Bella! Why’d we do that…” I gesture with my hand towards the bedroom “…if you’re in pain or, whatever?”
“Edward, stop. I’m fine. Carlisle checked me over. I didn’t have any spotting, just some cramping. Please don’t freak out. We’re okay.”
Yeah, sure. Don’t freak out. Have we met?
“Maybe we should call the clinic,” I offer softly.
She huffs. “I. Said. I’m. Fine. Will you please chill out?”
Flashes of angry brown meet my panicked green. How can she not take this more seriously? Though, I suppose if my father said she was fine, then she’s fine.
“Are you sure we should be…you know…intimate? I think I’d feel better if we called the doctor. Really, babe,” I voice as calmly as I can muster. Inside, I am freaking the fuck out, but I am trying to feed off of her calm demeanor.
She places her sweet little hand on my cheek as her gaze softens. “Baby, I’m fine. The cramps stopped, okay? Let’s just enjoy tonight, and I will call the doctor tomorrow. How does that sound?”
I nod in resignation. I feel like a complete ass. Not only for causing her distress with the whole “Jacob” episode, but also for letting things go so far tonight. If anything happens to the baby…
I shudder at the thought before looking back at her.
“Stay right here. I have something for you, and it’s the real reason I brought you here.” I wink, causing her face to flush adorably; so I place a quick kiss on her cheek before I retrieve her gift.
If possible, she looks even more beautiful with the light and shadows from the fire dancing across her features. I settle behind her, pulling her between my legs with her back flush against my chest. It’s difficult to keep my eyes and hands off of her, but she’s wearing only my undershirt and her panties.
Fucking focus, Cullen. She needs to rest.
I’m nervous about this gift, mainly because it’s completely out of my element. I hope she understands the meaning behind it. I set the box in her lap and she eyes it carefully.
“So, I um…” I blow out a breath, and rub the back of my neck “…I may be pretty foolish most of the time, but I usually have the best intentions. I know I’ve been a real jerk lately, but hopefully…well, maybe you’ll understand more when you open it,” I explain, nodding my head towards the gift and wrapping my arms around her waist.
Bella holds it in both of her hands, and I rest my chin on her shoulder. I kiss her gently on the cheek and then lean back waiting for her to open it. My hands run absentmindedly back and forth across her thighs, before I clasp them together over her stomach once again. She carefully removes the lid and pushes aside the tissue paper. Her delicate brow furrows, and I can almost see the wheels spinning in her head as she tries to decipher the contents.
Inside lies a square, eight-inch, black, leather-bound album. She still looks clearly confused as she removes it. I hold my breath as she creaks open the cover. On the first page I have written,
“No measure of time with you will be long enough,
But we’ll start with Forever.”
I watch as her eyes begin to glisten and her breath becomes uneven. She turns to the next page, and affixed is a photo of us when we first began dating. She delicately traces over it with her finger. We had gone to a carnival in Seattle with Emmett and Rose. In the photo, she is on my back, her arms wound tightly around my neck, her legs firmly in my grasp at my waist, and the carnival in the background. The smiles on our faces are so bright and playful. I knew I loved her the moment I laid eyes on her, and it’s evident in the photo. Beneath the photo I wrote,
“Once upon a time…”
Over the next several pages are photos of us throughout the last five years. A few from stops we made as we drove across the country to North Carolina, in front of our house after we signed the papers, fishing off of Johnnie Mercer’s pier, on a paddle boat at Greenfield Lake, and playing on the beach in Wilmington. There are even a few from the professional session we had at the lake. They are all photos that I have always cherished, because of how real and happy we are in them. When she turns to the next page, there is a copy of the ultrasound photo, and beneath it I wrote,
“All because two people fell in love.”
She gasps, covers her mouth with her hand, and a sob vibrates through her.
Shit. This was not exactly how I expected this to go.
“Babe?” I rub my hands up and down her arms as she continues to tremble.
She closes the cover of the book, pulls it to her chest, and then turns in my arms to look at me. My stomach is rolling, and my heart is pounding furiously, but I do my best to mask it as I wait for her to say something.
“I…” she starts with a whisper “…don’t know what to say.”
I swallow hard, my nerves getting the best of me. “You don’t have to say anything. That right there…is all the very best memories of us. I would be a mother-fucking fool if I let you get away.”
“Maybe it’s not entirely your fault.” She wipes the tears from her face. “I can be pretty foolish sometimes, too.”
I shake my head, and rest my hands on her bare legs. I refuse to let her blame herself for any of this. I know now that she tried to tell me many times how much she needed me, and I failed her.
“Please, don’t do that. You know that the reason we are where we are right now is not your fault. I hold the blame for this, and I refuse to let you try and place any of it on yourself.”
I cup her face in my hands and briefly press my lips to hers. She pulls back and smiles a watery smile at me before looking back at the album.
“This…this is so beautiful, Edward. Thank you,” she says softly.
I shrug my shoulders. “It was the only thing I could think of to show you the value of what our life means to me.”
It really is. I’m a simple man. I couldn’t think of any other way to express her importance to me. Words weren’t working, so I needed something visual. It’s only something small, but the weight of its contents represents the memories of us that live in my soul.
“Obviously, the final pages are empty, but only because we have a lifetime to fill them with even more memories.”
Bella nods minutely, her eyes full of unshed tears. She rests her head against my chest, and I gently comb my fingers through her hair.
“I should tell you one other thing,” I whisper into her hair. “Aside from my foolishness…sometimes, I’m afraid you don’t need me. Not the way I need you.” She leans back and begins to protest, but I stop her by placing a finger against her lips. “I’m afraid I’ll lose you again, but I also don’t want to seem clingy.”
She puckers, placing a kiss to my finger before moving it away. “You won’t lose me,” she whispers as her eyes dance back and forth with mine.
I nod, my gaze penetrating. “I’m telling you, so you know. I need you, Bella.”
She drops the book to her side and launches herself into my arms. I fall back against the pillows as she straddles my legs, and her mouth assaults mine.
“I need you, too, Edward. I love you,” she professes against my lips as she plunges her fingers into my hair.
“God, Bella…I love you so much,” I whisper in return. I slide my hands under the lace of her panties and cup her ass, pressing her firmly against my already throbbing erection. My nose skims up and down her neck, and I both hear and feel her hum in response, while she nips and sucks beneath my ear.
No. Cool your jets, Cullen.
I let my head fall back to the floor. “Bella, stop.” I clear my throat. “You need to rest.”
She sighs heavily and lays her weight atop me. I lightly trail the tips of my fingers up and down her back, trying to reign in my hormones. Slowly, I roll us over, laying her gently in the crook of my arm on the pillows, and I prop myself up on my elbow beside her. Bella brings her fingers up and tenderly traces my jaw.
“I just want to feel you. I miss you so much, Edward,” she says faintly.
I rest my forehead to hers as the guilt surrounds me for the millionth time. My hand seemingly has a mind of its own, as it traces nondescript patterns over her navel. Her fingers reach the back of my neck, scratching lightly at my hairline.
I suppose I can give her some of what she wants.
Ever so slowly, I sweep my fingers up the side of her ribs to just beneath the swell of her breast. As I begin to move her shirt up, she reaches for the hem, and swiftly pulls it over her head.
Christ!
Again, the way the light and shadows fall across her creamy skin is fascinating; she’s gorgeous. I brush my hand adoringly down her shoulder and across her collarbone, before leaning down to follow the path with my lips. Her breath hitches as she quivers under my touch. My hand moves to cup one breast, drawing small circles around her nipple, while my mouth moves to the other.
Did they get bigger? Niiiiiiice.
Just as I begin to pinch and roll one with my fingers, and suck the other taut peak tightly into my mouth, Bella’s entire body goes rigid.
She cries out, batting my face and hands away, “Ow! Holy shit! Stop!”
Ow! Shit! What the hell?
I scramble up onto my hands and knees above her. Her face is scrunched up in obvious pain, and she’s cupping her breasts.
“I–I–I’m sorry. What did I do?” I rest back on my heels and try not to panic, as I watch her roll to her side cringing.
Fuck! Call the doctor. Now, Cullen!
“Bella, please, what’s wrong?” I can hear the fear laced in my words as I thrust my hands into my hair, practically ripping it from the roots. She takes a deep breath and opens her watery eyes.
“I’m sorry…they just…hurt,” she moans.
Huh?
“What? Your boobs?” I question as the adrenaline begins to fade.
She nods her head, her cheeks flush, and she screws her eyes closed again. I release a breath and wrap my hands around her wrists, pulling them to my chest. Her eyes meet mine as my panic fades away completely.
“You scared the fucking shit out of me,” I note with a sigh.
“Sorry. That just really hurt.”
Our gaze locks for a moment before we both burst into laughter. It’s a full-fledged ‘tears in our eyes’ type of laughter that causes my sides to ache.
“So, um…I guess this means they’re off limits?” I question with a smirk.
She returns it with an incredulous look and the shake of her head.
Fucking shame. They’re nice and plump.
I clear my throat. “That’s a real shame. They’ve definitely grown…sitting there all plump and juicy, just begging me to fondle them,” I quip and drag my tongue across my lips.
“Edward!” she scolds, smacking me lightly on the chest.
I grab hold of her wrist with a devious look, and slowly lower my head to her chest, never breaking our eye contact. I poke my tongue out, and delicately circle it around one nipple as her breathing turns to heavy sighs. I close my eyes as I savor the flavor of her skin, mindful not to be too aggressive. As I close my mouth around her tightened peak and flick my tongue over it, she arches her back, pressing her chest further into my hand.
Now we’re getting somewhere. Just be gentle.
“…She’s an underground girl in an underground world…she never comes around she stays underground…”
“Ugh. Ignore it,” Bella whispered.
“…After was a trip, she rides her lip…she’s the coolest girl around, she’s the girl from underground..”
I dropped my head to her sternum. “Maybe it’s important?”
“No. It’s just Rose. I didn’t talk to her today, so she wouldn’t know we’re together,” she said with a sigh of resignation, skimming her fingertips over my shoulder blades.
I chuckle. “Does she know her ringtone is Blonde?”
She shrugs. “It makes sense,” she says with a “duh” tone to her voice.
“Dammit,” she grumbles as I roll off of her and lay flat on my back. Bella rises to retrieve her phone from her purse, mumbling under her breath, sounding something like, “overprotective blondie.”
BPOV
“Hey, Rose.”
“Hey, sweets. Just checking to see how your day was.”
I flop onto the couch and lay my head back; obviously the make-out session is over.
“Well, you want the good or the bad?” I ask.
“Uh oh. What happened? I thought things were getting better?”
“No…yeah, it is. Just a minor set-back?” It comes out more like a question. I’m unsure how to tell her about the fight with Edward less than five feet away. I lift my head to glance down at him. He’s sprawled out on his back in front of the fire, shirtless with his arm thrown over his eyes.
Damn, he looks yummy.
My eyes assault his form, taking in the definition of his chest and abs. I focus on the muscles as they flex and relax with each breath he takes. Slowly, I follow the line of his hips where his muscles form a V, disappearing below the waistband of his pants. I may have licked my lips.
“Bella? Hello? You still there? Bella!”
Shit.
“Uh, sorry, Rose. I must have zoned out.” I drop my head back again and close my eyes.
She snickers. “You think? So, are you going to tell me what happened or not?”
“Yeah. So Jake came over this afternoon after Billy told him I was in town.”
“Really. How’d that go?”
“It was okay for the most part. Until…” I pause, weary of dredging up the painful afternoon. Rising from the couch, I wander into the kitchen, hoping to be out of earshot of Edward.
“Well, I sort of lost track of time and Edward showed up while he was still there.”
“Oh, shit,” she whispers.
“Yeah, it gets better. You know how Jake is. Basically, he provoked Edward and well…they fought…Edward broke his nose.”
She gasps and then bursts into laughter. I hear her relay the story to Emmett, who begins to laugh–loudly–in the background.
“Rose,” I scold.
“Sorry, sorry. That shit’s just classic! You have to know, Edward’s probably been waiting for the chance to do that for years.” She giggled again.
“Yeah,” I respond with a sigh. “That’s not an excuse though.”
“Well, anyway, so then what?”
“Honestly, Rose, its such a long story, and its been a long day. Can we talk about this tomorrow? I’m actually…”
Slowly, two familiar strong hands rest on my hips. The skin on my entire body prickles at the contact, as they begin to make their way from my hips around to my abdomen. My breath catches. Edward nuzzles his nose to the side of my neck, and begins placing hot, wet kisses beneath my ear.
“Uh…at the…um…”
Oh my God!
“Bella? You okay?” she asks, clearly worried.
I clear my throat as Edward slides his fingers beneath the elastic of my panties. My head falls back against his chest. “Uh, yeah. I’m go-good.”
“O-kaaay? You don’t sound like it. Where’s Charlie? You’re not going to pass out or something, are you?”
That snapped me out of my lust fog. “No! I–I’m fine. I’ll call you back later. Okay, Rose?”
I don’t give her the chance to respond as I disconnect the call and let the phone fall to the counter. Edward continues his ministrations, sliding his fingers down between my legs and sucking on the exposed skin of my shoulder.
“Jesus,” I whisper.
“No. Edward,” he says in a husky chuckle.
“I thought you said I had to rest.” My voice matches his.
“You do. That doesn’t mean I can’t make you feel good, baby.”
Oh, yes please!
My entire body trembles in reaction to his words. I can clearly feel his arousal brush against my ass as he nips his teeth along the shell of my ear. With a firm grip on my hip, he slides his one hand under my panties. His elegant fingers glide across my now soaked core, and I go weak in the knees. His thumb finds my swollen clit and he begins to circle it slowly. I feel the burn already beginning, like a taut rubber band, slowly stretching to the max. I bring my hands up, holding myself up with the back of his neck. The feelings he evokes in me are indescribable. I literally feel like I am burning for him.
Slowly increasing the speed of his thumb, he plunges two fingers swiftly into my dripping heat. The band snaps, and my orgasm instantly–and shockingly–burns right through me.
“Ohhhh…Eeed-warrrrd!” I scream out, panting as I lock my fingers together behind his neck to keep from collapsing.
“Fuck, Bella. Did you–just–God.” He hisses into my ear, as my body vibrates and my knees threaten to give out. He pulls his thumb away and ever so slowly moves his fingers out and then back in.
Seriously? How the hell did that just happen so fast?
“You’re so beautiful, babe,” he whispers. “So fucking beautiful.”
I whimper as he continues to pump his fingers lazily inside me, drawing out the tremors of my climax. He moves his free hand up and cups my throat softly as he nibbles along the juncture of my neck and shoulder.
“Edward…oh, God,” I whisper breathlessly, feeling his hips grinding at my backside and my stomach begin to coil, again. I unlock my fingers and bring them to his arms, managing to remove his hold on my neck and pull his hand from my crotch. I spin in his arms and crash my lips to his. He simultaneously opens his mouth to mine, and our tongues begin a heated dance of desire. I run my hands down the slopes of his chest and across the ridges of his abs, before slipping my hand beneath the waistband of his sleep pants. His hands twist into my hair as I grip his erection, eliciting a lust-filled growl from him as I slowly pump down and then back up his length. Using my other hand, I run it over the swell of his ass under his pants, and maneuver them down past his hips. I pry my lips from his, gasping for air, and slide my body against his, forcing him to back up to the counter. He pulls his hands from my hair, and presses them to the surface to support himself.
“Bella,” he breathlessly moans.
I lock my gaze with his and slowly slide down to my knees, pulling his pants with me to his ankles. “My turn,” I taunt with a wink. I’m relatively positive I heard him whimper.
Good to know I still have the same effect on him that he has on me.
While slowly sliding my hand down his swollen cock, I poke my tongue out and lazily follow behind it, then back up, swirling it around the tip. Edward drops his head back and lets out a low moan. Or was that a growl?
When he lifts back up and looks down at me, I lock eyes with him once again before taking him as far in as I can, until I feel him hit the back of my throat. I wrap my hand around what doesn’t fit.
“Jesus, fuck!” he groans through gritted teeth. While he wraps his hands softly in my hair again, I slide him almost completely out and gently suck and nip at the base of the head. His hips seem to move of their own accord, and I watch him struggle to prevent them from bucking. So, I give him what he wants, allowing him to fuck my mouth, while I suck, moan, and swirl my tongue around him.
“Gahhh! Bella! Shit, that feels…amazing! Fuck!” He pants, his teeth still gritted.
Edward just became “Dirty-ward”. Hot!
It doesn’t take long before I feel him begin to twitch and try to pull my mouth away. Not willing to relent, I squeeze his ass firmly in my free hand and hum around him as I force him all the way back in. He twitches wildly before I feel the warmth of his release begin to shoot down the back of my throat.
“Fuuuuuuuuck,” he moans, pulling his hands from my head as his knees wobble, and he grips the edge of the counter to hold himself up. “Oh God, Bella.”
My eyes travel up to his face–his eyes are heavily hooded and his breathing is ragged–while I take every last drop he gives, before swirling my tongue over his tip a final time, and then release him.
Inching up towards his face, pulling his pants along with me, I capture his lips with mine. He kisses me firmly, wrapping his arms around my body, before pulling back only slightly to whisper, “You’re amazing.”
I brush my lips across his again and let out a low laugh. “Not as amazing as you.”
He cups my face in one hand and pulls our heads together. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. This man, for some inexplicable reason, loves me. Completely.
I get it. I finally get it.
He showed me tonight with a simple, ordinary book, and filled it with visual representations of what we mean to him. I finally feel as though everything will be alright. We are meant to be. I’ve always known that, I just needed to know that he did, too.
I won’t push him away any longer. I’m not going to fight this anymore.
It’s time to move forward.
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